Sunday, March 10, 2013

MI Notes, Pt1

My phone alarm went off at 3:40am and that is strange because it was set for 4:40am, and the phone knew that. It even had a happy little message telling me that my 4:40am alarm was ringing, but the clock on the phone told me it was an hour early. So did the ancient black-plastic battleship of a lamp/clock from my middle school years that is still keeping the dust away from its rectangular footprint on my headboard. I am a little disturbed by this. Second guessing your technology's sanity leads to problems. (Open the pod bay doors, HAL)

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I bought a travel pillow at the airport. It was $15. I wish I could eat it, because it is pretty much useless and I am super hungry.

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If you get butthurt when people on planes sitting in front of you recline their seat, you can lick it till you get to the tootsie roll center. Your seat reclines, too. Airplane seats are uncomfortable pieces of shit, and if there is something I can do to make it even the tineyest bit better, you better believe that I am going to recline that shit so hard. Everybody is doing it. Get with the program, dude.

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I think the woman sitting next to me is a hypochondriac. Since I have been next to her, I have totaled two sneezes and one super gurgly nose blow. I am suffering from a supreme lack of sleep and I am probably giving off a pretty heavy sick vibe. I want to blow my nose again, but I think the sound alone would be enough to send her over the edge. She was doing Sudoku  but now she has a laptop on her tray table and appears to be reading, but she has been on the same page for almost 20 minutes. I can feel her covert glances like pin pricks. All is not well.

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Plane bathrooms are a pretty intimate setting. I think a crime was recently committed here which will go unsolved. I have more hair in my nose than previously suspected.

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Cameron Mortensen is now moving with speed and efficiency; a bullet of hope cutting across the darkening Michigan landscape. GRR is ground zero and the ETA has the consistency of warm jello.



-Alex who prefers liquid gels to candy coated with his wheat beer.