Sunday, January 22, 2012

Blonds Have More Fun

Walmart Duster Rules
such a simple thing
Crazy kid used the wrong color !!

.. The catching on the Madison River between the lakes is picking up. There are packed trails in the snow rather than parallel rows of post-holes.
.. The fish are after the midges on occasion. And, on occasion, they will be taken on the top. But, truth be told, blonds have more fun.
.. Hereabouts there's a small, ambitious, energetic, and slightly off-center group of local residents that refuse to believe that fishing with a fly is only a 4-month proposition. These kids are not habitues of the dusty aisles in the local fly shops. They are hard working sons and daughters of folks that have lived here for a few decades, (or more.) They wear shorts and sometimes go barefooted through December.
.. They fish with worms and flies and spinners, and anything that catches fish at the moment. They cherish their time on the water, (or ice,) and don't fool around with the arcane minutia of proper fly fishing. Just can't be bothered!
.. On rare occasion they will travel to the glorious catastrophe that is Bozeman. Of course they head straight for Walmart. Prices are good, selection is extensive, and the produce in the grocery section makes the local fare look like . . . well, unmentionable poop.
.. On a recent trip Tommy, (his real name,) found himself near a trash bin and spied a genuine, ole-time feather duster.
.. He grabbed it and found a "sales associate" and asked if the duster was really being thrown out.
.. Long-story-short: through several levels of the store hierarchy he continued to ask the question untill it was determined that the bit of fluff on the stick was indeed used-up and being thrown out. He smiled and poked it in his rear pants pocket.
.. Being deeply inculcated in local lore, Tommy knew that he had secured a treasure beyond belief. This was the stuff of legends. A real feather feather duster. He had several years' supply of fly tying material.
.. Upon returning home, Tommy was assailed by his mates. You foolish dolt! The color is all wrong.
.. Our neighbor Wally, (his real name,) used the dark gray or black feathers when he invented the FEATHER DUSTER FLY.
.. Well, Tommy, being of the working class, was not going to let a bit of color stand in the way of his feather dusters. He tied up a few dozen and passed them out to his friends at the local pub.
.. Of course you know the outcome. The off-color flies worked just fine. In fact they are the current neighborhood rage. It will die down in a month or two - OR - a year or two, who knows?
.. But for now: BLONDS HAVE MORE FUN, sticking fish in their mandibular parts.
.. We bring this bit of information to you as a public service. There are too damn many hungry trout between the lakes. They are begging for blond beauties. Natural, of course!
It's getting deep in town.