Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy whatever...




I don't know where I put my motivation, and I can't for the life of me find it. Maybe it is hiding somewhere in the new year, or in the bottom of that Ten High bottle... Anyways, I was going to write something profound, but I will just say don't end up like this guy tonight and pre-fill your Bedside Hydration Unit. And remember to take your shoes off before you pass out, or it's game on, dude.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

As if you weren't enough of a jerk already...

It's bad enough watching your friend beat the local piscatorial population like a red headed stepchild while you are picking weeds from your hook and tying the next crap thing on your tippet, but now when you splash your way back to the bank you know he will bring some brand of proof of how much of your ass he actually kicked.

It is probably bullshit, as most likely any number you have ever come up with when asked, but there is just something about seeing the lie as an actual number that might be just enough to push you over the edge toward uncontrolled strangulation.

I think I might just mount a ten-foot long ticker above my pontoon to make sure that everyone within an eighth of a mile knows how much of a douche I am.



-Alex who counts fish and lies about it in the traditional way.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Bordem can drive you to make a "Worst List"

I am VERY bored, I just got off the phone with Alex awaiting my arrival in Tucson on Wednesday, and due to my phone being dead I decided to post. These are the lists of shit that comes to the top of my head all the sudden, if you disagree with anything well I don't care because this is my opinion.

Worst Movies I have seen:

5. The Matrix
4. Jason X
3. The Village
2. Dude Where's my Car
1. Batman and Robin

Bands I have heard:

5. Europe
4. Yanni
3. Metallica
2. Journey
1. ICP

Actors:

[Addition by Alex: 6. Nicholas Cage]
5. Ashton Kutcher
4. Keanu Reeves
3. Steven Seagal
2. Pauly Shore
1. Andy Dick

Songs:

5. Separate Ways- Journey
4. Country Music, all songs
3. The Final Countdown- Europe
2. St. Anger- Metallica
1. Everything else from Metallica

Places to live:

5. Congo
4. Afghanistan
3. The ocean
2. Antarctica (unless GWAR is there)
1. France

Kyle- Who will make a "Good List" soon enough

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

It happens sometimes



It might be sad to see, but you have to understand that it occasionally cannot be helped. An indulgence of epic proportions:  shitty awesome beer drunk, food that doesn't fit in a pyramid, the flatulence flows in the heater fan and a never ending stream of B rating netflix sustain a life more ordinary than anyone would want to admit....

But then the ghost of Bruce Lee showed up and we kicked ass, and Matt Damon came over, but not like the regular Matt Damon, the Bourne Identity Matt Damon and it was awesome and we went all tactical on some bad guys. Then we all drank a handle of Black Velvet and watched Step Brothers in the man cave while boxing with hulk hands.

We might go fishing tomorrow.

-Alex and Aaron

Sunday, December 13, 2009

This is what happens, Larry!

When you go three weeks without fishing, sometimes things can get a little stupid.



-Alex "Kitchen-Hero" Landeen

Monday, December 7, 2009

I'm a trendy kinda guy, so I think I will....



Right? Yea, bro. That's totally legit, bro. Totally legit. I mean, if it doesn't look like someone ate it, shat it out and ran it over with show chains it would be totally less legit... Bro.

-Alex who is covered in grungy legitness and might be mentally breaking down because of it...
.
.
.
bro.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

It is happening all over the place and it's driving me insane.

I know some of the waters. I have stood in the same spot, on the same bank. Things are happening right now, maybe someplace I know and maybe not but it doesn't really matter when one is not there. Big, nasty hungry fish that know the solid water well and rebel against it and I am no part of it.

Time is against us now and all I want for Christmas is poundage on the end of my line and at this point I don't really care who's lap I have to sit on.

Is there still time? I think so. Five hours there and five hours back but the clouds are looming and the ice is starting to crickle-crackle its way into the still water between the rocks, under the boat docks and into my head. Is this really the end of the season for me? Are the White Mountains really so close and yet so far? Can my shitty truck muster the mechanical fortitude to make it to the pines? Maybe, but probably not. I fear I may have procrastinated too long, and my wallet is a little light and there is no one to blame but myself.

This is the eleventh hour, people, and if you are there make the best of it, great, but don't call me to tell me how awesome it is because if I should perish in a vain attempt to locate and cast a line while strangling you, the blood will be on your hands.

-Alex who should shut the hell up and go to bed.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Fishy Kid has established itself as an ass-kicker.

FishyKid.orgAfter what I can only assume involved a good amount of blood, sweat and tears (not necessarily in that order), Fishy Kid wrapped up their first coloring contest, with fantastic turnout.

200 kids and 40 grown-up-kids wielding their crayons and freshly sharpened colored pencils, making a valiant effort to send in their best make-mama-proud-and-hang-it-on-the-fridgeness. Mr. Gracie even took the time to show off his coloring in the lines skillz-and with a bodacious booty to be had, I am sure that the youngsters as well as the adults (ahem) are biting their nails in anticipation.

I, on the other hand, will be lurking around in the background, behind the crowd, in the shadows with my hat pulled low and aviators sported, waiting with camera ready in attempt to document a grown man cry.

-Alex