Saturday, January 31, 2009

Gross? Or Good?

So I found out by accident, If you eat "Nathan's Hot Dogs" with wheat bread, mayo, and Tapatio hot sauce, with a bag of sun chips, let it sit for about an hour or two, then drink a shit ton of Diet Coke, your burps taste like IBC Root Beer! Kinda gross, I know, but I love IBC Root Beer.

Its my new past time!

But if you don't want to try all the unhealthy food (you hippie) then just drink IBC Root Beer and your burps will taste the same.

So can anyone else mimic beverage tastes through food? Please share with us.


-Kyle

Friday, January 30, 2009

Do you know these people? pt. 2

Alright folks, here is part 2. So again I pose the question: Do you know these people? Are they you?

The Bro
Your fishing hat is sideways with a vengeance.
Your ‘02 Chevy Silverado has a $2500 lift on it, and the 40 inch mud terrains rarely see a dirt road, let alone mud.
You subscribe to This is Fly, and have the full collection of Glamis Gone Wild videos.
You own 30 Skin Industries shirts.
You have wet-waded in Vans.
Only Loop gear for you, cause that shit is tight, yo!
You make old men spit and curse when they see you on the river.
Your looks aside, you are actually a pretty good fisherman, and often make You Tube videos with a camcorder that you stole from your sister.
You are probably really skinny, with at least one sleeve of tats.
In at least half the photos taken of you you’re giving the camera the finger.
You have most likely, at one point in your life, worked at Subway.

The Story Teller
You have a sixth sense for seeking out people, wherever you are, who are talking about fishing.
Your tales are monstrous show stoppers of angling glory, and people will hear them whether they like it or not.
Saltwater and freshwater, tailwaters and headwaters, ponds and puddles, piddily little streams and big ol’ rivers, you are lord of them all.
Your gear doesn’t matter because you once hand-caught a tarpon on line that you braded out of hair from your shaved genitals, while at the same time pleasing two women and cooking Tea-Glazed duck with a mushroom sauce for lunch.
No one, as far as they can remember, have ever seen you actually fish.
You don’t understand why they stopped making Zima.
Nobody really likes you.

The Crotchety Geezer
You can smell bullshit from here to next week, and you don’t want to hear it.
You have said “get off my lawn” in a situation where it was actually applicable.
Your fishing gear survived the cold war era, so it’s good enough for you and better than all that shiny, billet, high flow, low drag, over-rated crap those damn kids use these days.
You have chased people off the river, just because you felt unsociable.
You have been kicked out of a bar for assaulting a Story Teller.
You drink Pabst, and Johnny Walker Red.
Your idiot kid is an investment banker, and was never any good at fishing.
Your hands have touched more fish than a sushi chef.
You have a reel lying around somewhere that still has oil impregnated silk line on it.
You don’t know what a blogroll is, but it sounds like it would be good with ham and cheese.
You shake your fist at people.

The wannabe guide
You are totally sure that you know, but you don’t.
“This fly I tied will totally kill on that river,” but it won’t.
Your cast and presentation is perfect, but it’s not.
You are sure that you can help anyone catch more fish, but you can’t.
You refer to that local water as “yours”, but it isn’t.
Your friends think you are the shit, but you’re not.
People will hear your suggestions whether they want to or not, and they don’t.

-Alex

Oh, if you havn't had the pleasure, Part 1 can be found here.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

You Snus, you lose.

I don't know about where you live, but down here in Tucson, we just recently started seeing the new Snus smokeless tobacco pouches in our convenience stores. Here are my 2 cents about the stuff.



The pack above is what Marlboro has sent out, and it around $1.50 for 6 pouches, While the Camel packs are normal size, and a little more expensive than a normal can of dip. The marketing idea from Marlboro seems sound, since people may be reluctant to shell out 6 bucks for a pack of something they have never tried, and may not like. For around the same price a person could sample 3-4 flavors of the Marlboro.

On first inspection, the pouches are smaller than other pouch-style dip, and are pretty dry, but moisten up well. The flavor is added through a "flavor strip" inside the pouch, and is pretty potent. The Spearmint smelled and tasted exactly like Spearmint gum. It just screams, "Hey kids, this stuff tastes super great!"

Snus is made using "steamed" tobacco, and they claim that there is less carcinogens, so its healthier than other tobacco products. Like Russian Roulette, but this revolver holds 12 rounds instead of 6.

[Edit] - I forgot to put this part in when I first wrote this post and it is kinda the most important part: Snus is a non-spit pouch. The juice is meant to be swallowed, and I gatta tell you, it tastes like candy.

It seems that it does not have as much nicotine as regular pouches, and the small size feels a little inadequate, like if you are not paying attention you may end up choking on it.

If you are hopelessly addicted to chew and work somewhere that does not lend itself to a spitting environment Snus may help you kill your teeth more secretly. Unless you are one of those folks who can just gut the regular stuff, then you have bigger problems to worry about.

So, whats the final verdict....

I guess that my general feel about the whole nonsense is that Snus is just a less manly way to go about getting your nicotine fix, but there is probably a reason it is so popular in Sweeden. But who knows, thems folks and their clocks are nuts anyways. (oh wait, thats the swiss... whatever)

Sometimes you just want to throw in a huge pinch of Cope and play target practice at whatever happens to be floating by in the water. Just sayin'. Plus it can keep people away from you if you don't happen to be feeling sociable at the moment.

In a well-timed post over at Fishing Jones, Pete said it very well. Great minds....you know.

Chewing tobacco while fishing ditches, canals, and residential lakes in the exurbs keeps people from coming too close and asking questions. It allows you, without speaking, to declare that you do not wish to be socially engaged.

Total Clint Eastwood in Two Mules for Sister Sara style.

So anyways, that my opinion. Do with it what you will.

-Alex who doesn't advocate the use of any tobacco products, and is just doing his petty journalistic duty, and who also knows that the pun in the title is lame.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Colorado Sportsmans Expo

Oh god it was amazing! So many booths about fly fishing, camping, bird dogs, hunting, and other random shit I don't care about. Yes the food was over priced, but that is expected. Saw and Met Lefty himself at the fly casting demo, and he taught me shit I would have never thought of. Best of all I got 2 packs of Airflo Ridgeline for the price of 1! Thanks to Hook fly shop. And big thanks to John Kirk who ran the show and Michael Gracie, they got me free tickets. And my dumb ass forgot to put the damn card in my camera so...... no photos.

Bla bla bla,

I am fucking bored right now and haven't posted in a few days or a week, I can't remember, so I am just rambling.

Oh yeah! I am going to Seattle WA on the 13th of Feb. to visit my friend for her birthday. I thought when I am up there I will do some fishing. Does anyone have any tips or anything that I can take up there with me? I don't want to spend the money on a guide. I find it more rewarding to guide myself. But if I don't catch fish I might feel stupid that I didn't get a guide. All you anglers who live or fish Seattle area please throw me some tips, trick, and flies to use.

I am Neptune God of the Sea!!!!!

I just heard that on Family Guy. I have done nothing but watch TV all day, too cold to fish, too lazy to do anything else.

-Kyle

Sunday, January 25, 2009

The Unfriendly Sport of Fly Fishing?

A recent post over at The Trout Underground has got me thinking. I know, I know, go run and hide.

The post posed some questions about fly fishermen, the industry, and their feelings about newbies in the sport, and has prompted quite a bit of attention.

I had an idea, which lead to a comment, which lead to more thinking, and here I am.

The Questions posed in the TU article were:
1) Is fly fishing too expensive to recruit newbies?
2) Is the industry newbie-unfriendly?
3) Are fly fishermen newbie unfriendly?

4) Is the sport’s focus on high-end gear and exotic places throttling the sport?
5) Recruitment during a recession is never easy (even as millions suddenly find themselves with spare time), but what will get newbies into the sport?
6) Do we want newbies in the sport? (This last for you cranky readers.)


The questions that got me thinking were 2, 3 and 6. First I thought about my possible answers to these questions. Then I thought about the sport in general, and the stereotypes about how fly fishermen generally are snobbish and self aggrandizing.

While I was pondering these feeling of the sport, I realized that the questions alone are almost answer themselves when you think about the reason anyone would even think to ask in the first place.

All Stereotypes, in my opinion, all have a little truth hidden somewhere in them.

So where is it hidden in the “good” people who fly fish? Is it even that hidden? It is there at all? Are the few assholes you meet while fly fishing the cause for most of it? No, because there are assholes everywhere, in all sports, but it seems that of all angling, fly fishing has the worst reputation for being a sport of the pompous.

Is this an old stereotype from the tweed days? I don’t know, but I can still feel it. Maybe I am one of them…. One of the self-important types, I mean, I do write a blog, which is a trait of the “Show Off” fly fisherman, from my Do You Know These People series. (There is only one so far, but I am currently working on a part 2) Crap, I did it again, plugging myself. Oh shit, it’s getting worse. Am I part of the problem?

Am I reading too much into this? Over analyzing it all? Does it even matter? Is there a secret army of anti-newbie fly fishermen lurking in the shadows, pulling the strings, turning the screws? Are we them, and they us? All of us lying to ourselves about being good nice people, when in reality we are just greedy, competitive animals that have developed a conscience and don’t speak what we really feel for fear of being found out. Everyone is a hater of something. Us and them. No matter what you say.

My friend of mine who does not fly fish, in mocking jest at the sport said while pretending to cast, “Check this out you pussies. Have you ever seen a more graceful, yet utilitarian cast such as this? The brightly colored line even helps you appreciate it from a greater distance.”

Is this how he truly feels? Or just a joke brought on by our recent conversation about stereotypes? Am I rambling? Will anyone really read all the way down to the end of this post?

I guess, in conclusion I am saying that it is the way it is, and we are who we are, and most likely we are not as good, or as important, or as smart as we think. But we do fly fish, so at least we got that part right.

-Alex who says he doesn’t care what you think, but secretly does.

Monday, January 19, 2009

18 inches of awesome

As seen in a recent FGFF video: The Super Ultra Awesome Giant Hemostats of Doom.



You can get your own and be super sweet like us.

-Alex who didn't have much to do tonight.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Warm Juice!


I know, it is probably cold where you are, but down here in Tucson it was 75° today. Now take a second to go get a blanket and stop cursing me. Back? ok.

Yea, so it is going to be super nice here all week, but we sometimes find ourselves in places where snow is not mystical, and single digits are not uncommon.

Shit, Kyle is probably looking at snow right now.... So what do we do in situations like this? Drink.

But what to have? Usually it just comes down to whatever is in reach, but in the cases when we can plan our alcoholism, here are a few favorites.

Packed-in warm juice.

In this case, I usually go for shooters of Jagermeister and Rumplemintz. (Rumplemeister) Small and light, they are easily stowed, and when mixed together prove to be a most delicious treat for warming your soul, and works very well for shakin' stank off.

In camp warm juice.

Options are endless, but FGFF has often been found drinking whiskey and root beer. Aaron kinda made that one a tradition.

Warm juice in the boat/tube.

Beer is okay, but you usually end up with too much trash to worry about finding a home for, so generally anything you can pre-mix in a plastic bottle it best. Rumplemeister is good, as well as anything else that doesn't need to be chilled to enjoy. Remember, if you use your bedside hydration unit for this, wash it out at the soonest possible juncture.

Breakfast warm juice.

Gin/vodka and OJ, or a Bloody Mary. I usually opt for the gin & juice, whilst contemplating my cash flow.

But remember folks, where ever you decide to kick ass, remember to always pick up after your dirty self. Picking up bud light bottles and powerbait cans (usually found in close proximity) always makes me want to stomp faces.



A victim of warm juice? Lost contact? You be the judge.

-Alex who is currently drinking.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

OK water, it's pee your pants time.


Folks, a new era of ass kicking has just come to fruition. The Spey Avenger has arrived at FGFF and with him comes heaps of water-beating, beer drinking pandemonium.

He is trained in the ancient arts of Spey Kung Fu, and don't take no crap from the likes of anyone. His style of martial arts was the brain child of Sensei Barton at the Singlebarbed Dojo.

I am super serious folks, when it comes to kicking the holy crap out of H2O, there is no one better. Accept no substitutes, baby.

-Alex
(who may or may not be the secret idenity of the Spey Avenger, even though he doesn't actually own a spey rod. yet.)

Sunday, January 11, 2009

New Friend for FGFF, and some thoughts about gear


So I went fishing with Michael Gracie and his buddy John today, it was like fishing with the Fat Guys, just they are not fat. John and Michael pick on each other in some of the same ways Alex and Aaron pick on me, only there was no shooting me with BB guns or farting on my face while I was asleep. I thought of it like this, these are guys going out there and having a good time. The fishing was slow................ no more to say about that. We have been talking about future trips and different fish to catch. Turns out John still has to call his mom on directions on how to brush his teeth, as Michael says, but knows carp on the fly like stink on shit. These guys are real. No bullshit "Oh I have the best gear" or "Oh so you fish with a Wal-Mart set up". These guys don't give a shit, and that brings me to my next point. I was reading a Q&A on Michael's page with Dave Phares, and two sections got me thinking..... "Actually Arizona is a fly fisher's paradise, as we can fish year-round for a wide variety of species." and that is very true, and holds water to Aaron's quote, "If you say that fishing in Arizona sucks, I think you are a shitty fisherman." The other is when Michael and Dave were talking about rods. Rods are a huge part of fly fishing.... for obvious reasons, but people have to see that a Sage or Orvis might not make you a better fisherman. I am not saying that either are crap, in fact I do really like both. This is the thing as said by Dave, "The secret is to find the rod and line that work for you. Go to the fly shop and cast them until you find what works." Some of us have to have the best of the best just because it has an expensive brand name, like my vest, but please keep this in mind, you are buying this shit to make you catch more fish. If you can't cast a $600 rod as well as a $200 rod..... then what is the fucking point to spending the extra $400?????? Remember these are not you teenage daughters jeans so she can look good at school by wearing some stupid brand made by some eyeliner wearing freak from New York, this is fishing..... is there anything more important?

Don't forget to visit Michael.

Oh and today I got this killer "British Sheep Breeds" poster today at Goodwill, I am getting all randy thinking about it!

-Kyle

Saturday, January 10, 2009

FGFF Lanyards

...from the LP studio.

OK folks, things are in the works with these lanyards. Above is the one that Kyle made for me a couple weeks ago, I finally got around to taking a picture of it for the blog. He is up in Colorado scheming to get these ready to sell and I have heard talk of FGFF beads and stickers, but I cannot promise anything yet. Stay tuned, as soon as we get organized I will post something on how to get your own FGFF lanyard.

(Gink, photoshopped FGFF flybox, hemos, and clippers are not included, they are mine and not yours so get your own)

-Alex

By the way, I kinda wedged these posts together, so be sure to scroll down and check out some thoughts from Aaron, and ideas for helping your head.

What Do I Live For? (a hookup gone wrong)

Some thoughts from Aaron-

People always ask me, what is it that drives your passion for fly fishing? What keeps you on the water week after week? Naturally the people asking me these questions don't fly fish or they would never ask that question. Although even fly fishermen may find the answers I provide to those questions strange as the reasons differ from one angler to another.

Mostly I live for a good solid hook up. The sound of the line pealing off of the water. A sound that is a result of the fish's power and my own ripping that line upward and backward off of the water's surface tension. Often times for me it is a simple hookup that brings me joy, sometimes more than landing a fish. Celebrations of a hookup gone wrong or snapped off is most often a result of placing a perfect cast while sight fishing or getting a good hookup while casting into a spot based on an educated guess.

After I had grown long accustomed to catching fish on the fly I would curse a hookup gone wrong. Not only curse but use choice expletives and blame it on temporary tourettes. Then I remembered some valuable advice from a friend "don't forget to have fun out there". All to often we forget what brought us to the water in the first place. It's the simple thrill of even getting a response from a fish on a fly that you not only threw out there, but one you tied yourself. A hookup gone wrong although frustrating can be a beautiful thing and we should never stop enjoying the simple things our sport provides. It's just another thing to ponder while you stand on the bank and watch the fish rise.

Plus a new Drawn While Drunk! Enjoy: What Career?

Friday, January 9, 2009

Help your Head




So there you were, having some brews and kickin’ some ass. Everything was perfect, and then something happened. Maybe someone brought out the beer bong, maybe that losing pong team talked you into a re-match, whatever it was, it happened, and then Pvt. Hudson showed up and it was game over, man.

You forgot every party rule you ever embraced, and all is lost. Now you are stumbling around stealing wine coolers from passed out girls, yelling “schwanzstucke!” at the German exchange student, and that little sweetie you have been working all night is ready to go, but you are no Apache Chief, and your proud, unbending, rock-hard pillar of justice cannot be “Inyuk-chuked” to life.

There is no hope for you.

Now what? You know what. You know damn well what. This ain’t your first rodeo, boy. You are in for a rough morning on the water. But don’t fret; Uncle Alex is here to help your head.

The proper way to properly re-hydrate:

Nothing pisses me off more than pouring a glass of water all over myself while I am laying in bed drunk trying to hydrate my brain. It is hard enough to drink laying down when you are sober. So go get your Camelback. You know, the water thing? Yea, that thing that you filled with jack and coke last year for the football game and never washed out. Go get that thing.

Fill it up and put it next to your bed. You can accomplish this drunk, but I recommend doing it right now. Drinking through a no-leak tube in bed is the best way to keep your pillow dry while feeding your thirsty noggin. You can pre-plan by filling it up with half water, half Gatorade.

And remember, if the gun is loaded go ahead and pull the trigger.

Now sun is up, and so are you, and you are in desperate need of a big greasy hamburger and a shot of Gin. I know you don’t think you want it, but you really do. It will help you. Pour yourself a shot, put some Tabasco and lemon juice in it, and down the hatch, my friend.

Now go get your sunglasses, waders, and your bedside hydration unit and get out on the water. If all the above fails, just remember: downstream, downstream, DOWNSTREAM!

-Alex

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

A bit of curiosity

I was wondering how many people check out our blog?
Another thing, I am making Lanyards and soon my boss and I will start constructing our own Bamboo and Graphite fly rods. I am sure the ones I make with have the FGFF logo on them as well with weight and length. My boss also wants to start making his own fly reels which I will learn from him and start making some FGFF reels, but that’s not for a long time I am sure. When I start making them if anyone would like one or two you should let me know I will start selling them at cost. Obviously I have no Idea yet how much they would be, but we are getting the graphite blanks in soon from the same company that makes them for some high end companies. I am not sure yet if I am able to name the companies due to copy rights and crap like that.

-Kyle

Monday, January 5, 2009

A Quick Word on Kickin' Ass

You can kick ass on the water, you can kick ass at home, you can kick ass in your car, you can kick ass in the park, you can kick ass at school, you can kick ass on land and at sea, and if you are good, you can even kick ass while sitting on the couch eating cheetos.

Kicking ass can be a lifestyle, or just a pastime.

You can be a weekend-warrior ass kicker, or kick ass for a living.

You can come from a long hereditary history of ass kicking, or you can be the first in your family to kick ass.

You can kick platoons of ass, or just kick a little ass.

There is really no limit the ass kickery that can be achieved if you put your mind and heart into it.

So folks, just remember: Whatever you choose to do in life, on the water and off, wherever you decide to go remember to always, and to the best of your ability, kick ass.

The world will be a better place for your efforts.
Thank you.
-Alex

Thursday, January 1, 2009

About the biggest pair you ever seen, dingleberry!

How about some videos for your hangover.



Merry new years MFers! Hooray Boom!




Alex and Aaron at Rose Canyon last monday. WTF is snow?